i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
