Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my life...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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