Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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