She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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