and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
