what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
