my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
