i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize