dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize