I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize