I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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