summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
