This house was built for laser tag.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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