I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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