Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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