Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he laminated a picture of his dick.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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