physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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