dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
