Having a random hookup so left but love u
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
