it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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