my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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