Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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