He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
