Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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