On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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