is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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