I wish my penis had an off switch
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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