so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Your penis caused this!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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