people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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