Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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