as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
