Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize