porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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