He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
