My girlfriend figured out who you are.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
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Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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