also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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