guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Randomize
