He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
