my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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