and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize