I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
