I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
