I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
please come you make the beer taste better
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Come back. Shots need mouths.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
