what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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