JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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