I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My vagina is officially offended.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
