every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
