"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
