she woke up with a sticky ear
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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