I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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