Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
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He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
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Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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