Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
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It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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