i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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