We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize