it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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