he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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