there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
