My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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