just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
