I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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