Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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