I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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