Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Someone signed my nipple.
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