what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
