vagina is talking i cant
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
