Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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