Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's paint friendship bongs
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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